The ILG Coint & Plick Awards

Coint & Plick 2010 Most Disappointing

Posted in 2010, Most Disappointing Games of the Year by trdn89 on June 13, 2011

Time for some disappointments.

Every voter was given the option to list their most disappointing game of the year on their ballot. For some, this meant their least favorite game; for some, the one that didn’t live up to their expectations; for some, the reasoning was completely personal.

There was a surprising degree of diversity in what people considered “disappointing”… here’s the gamut:

EZ Snappin
Physical Infirmity – My “biggest disappointment” was that I tore my biceps tendon so haven’t been able to do any motion controlled gaming since the Spring – no Wii, no trying out Move or Kinect. Honestly, I played so few games this year that I didn’t get a bummer. I ended up frustrated by FIFA11 after 50 or so hours, but it wasn’t broken or shit or anything.

Princess TamTam
Civ 5

Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth – Before its release the new gameplay mechanic (WALKING) sounded neat but this was the weakest entry in the series. Also: sexism and gaystereotypes.

Angry Birds – Despite the effort I put in (and enjoyment I surely got at the time), I have really no interest in going back no matter what additional content they provide.

Will M
Red Dead Redemption – Sure, the good parts are good, but in usual Rockstar style the bad parts are the fucking worst. There’s a reason that westerns don’t have 15-minute chase-cam horse-riding sequences. Especially since it looks nice for about 5 minutes and then it’s alllllllll the saaaaaaaaame. The exposition is brutally boring/bad. The ending is robbed of any gravity due to the epilogue bit (hey, u can keep going lol). Ugh. Bugged me so much. I am officially over these dudes’ games, GTA IV and now this.

Super Mario All-Stars – Seriously, Nintendo? You can’t even see fit to include Super Mario World or even, like, the levels based on those scannable Mario 3 cards on the disc? Fuck, you can’t even include more than TWELVE MINUTES OF MUSIC on the soundtrack CD? FUCKING NINTENDO IS FUCKING US AGAIN FUCK. *buys on day one anyway*

Vanquish – wish it had more unlockables, even just silly stuff like big head mode cheats, stupid suits or fuck-off-big guns. because the core /game/ aspect was so strong it wasn’t that big a deal mind

iPhone/iPod touch gaming – I’m finding myself really fascinated with the growing market and possibilities as much as anyone, but time and time again, I’ll play games feverishly recommended by others in the iPhone thread and come off bitterly disappointed, as just about every game is basically a slightly tweaked (but not significally so) version of a game I played on the DS or Kongregate or Newgrounds years ago. I think people are just amazed at the ability to play on your phone? Worst offender – Game Dev Story. Drop7 gets a pass, though, that one was really good.

Rock Band 3 – Maybe a guitar controller with eight million buttons wasn’t the greatest idea of all time? Also the song list is awful. I think the era of the music game is over.

Monster Hunter Tri – The concept was great, but in the end I shelled out $40 or so for a game that I couldn’t get into because of clunky controls. Currently in line to be thrown up on eBay first chance I get… sorry, Monster Hunter Tri.

Zora / Surfing at Work
Civilization 5.

Mitch Krpata
Limbo – In a sense, I’m disappointed with myself for not seeing what everybody else saw in this game. Others saw a brain-busting platformer swaddled in the clothes of a tragedy; I saw a pretentious, anachronistic platformer with delusions of grandeur.

Mass Effect 2 – The big selling point for this is supposed to be the characters and the great story, apparently. But the further I got into the game, the more I found myself beginning to sympathize with Roger Ebert’s tripe about video games and art (I eventually stopped playing before I get too close to the edge, but fuck you for that, bioware, party foul). I am confident that someday soon a giant game company will release a game with dialogue that is elevated above the 9th best action film of 1996, but Mass Effect 2 isn’t it. (IMO.) And when the wider non-gamer public is told from a variety of sources that Mass Effect 2 is supposed to be some great achievement in videogame storytelling, it does a great disservice to games in general. It comes across like an excellent 6th grade play. Unfortunately, aside from the story, all that’s left is a really easy action game and a whole bunch of planet probing. The graphics and sound are great, I’ll give it that.

Autumn Almanac
Gran Turismo 5 – The designers refused to follow any known UI convention and the game itself were boring. Even the 3D is underwhelming.

Alan N
Online Play in Dragon Quest 9 – Again, one of my peculiar old man hangups, but as a rule of thumb, I have never gotten much out of multiplayer. unless there are people physically in a room with me, anyway. I was pretty disappointed when I found out that it was a major component of dq9. it’s likely the reason I haven’t gotten around to playing yet, despite having dutifully bought the game already. (or used a voucher on it, anyway.) I love the series but I play dq games like I read a book: usually before bed or during my commute in 30min intervals. it’s a soothing, hermetic activity for me and online gaming is the opposite of that experience.

none, or the usual “that I didn’t play enough 2010 games”

Salsa Shark
Epic Mickey

The PS3 – Only got round to buying one this year, and haven’t enjoyed anything I’ve played on it. The exclusives all feel distinctly last-gen, and the machine itself is just…I dunno, too Japanese? When games aren’t, any more. So there’s a mismatch of form and function. Plus the update mechanisim is plain ridiculous. Oh i dunno, it’s just shit.

A Passing Spacecadet
One Chance (Flash) – Am I a sourpuss if my gaming disappointment is something I didn’t even spend any money or more than 40 minutes on? I just wanted this to be so amazing after reading glowing reviews. ILG was the one gaming-aware online community I’m on that didn’t go nuts over the genius of this thing. A profound artistic statement subverting gamers’ expectations, or a Choose Your Own Adventure book with about 3 choices and a handful of inscrutable and identically bleak endings? So much potential, but it just didn’t hang together for me.

1. Increased use of libraries or plug-ins I’ve got to download and games that look like they’ll run on my computer but actually run just as slow as Duke Nukem Forever would (the 2d runs as slow as 3d complaint)
2. Games and game websites (like Jacob Buczynski’s) previously available on the internet 1 or 2 years ago have disappeared without anyone archiving them.

A pair of intense disappointments apiece for the two NOIR MOVIE GAMES:

Alan Wake – Oh good, an unlikeable self-involved college professor simulator! I should have known that this was going to be awful when in the first hour of gameplay I got to experience one of the laziest moments of game design ever: yer walking around on an island, nothing weird has happened yet so you are just poking around and you decide to see what happens if you walk into the shallow water clearly accessible by the side of the dock. Now, this is obviously a spot the designer doesn’t want you getting too far into, because they haven’t bothered with any sort of swimming/wading mechanic because hey why would you if you set your game ON AN ISLAND. So they do the obvious rational thing, and decide that if you walk into the water YOU EXPLODE. It gets worse from there.
This is one of the lamest “spooky” games ever to splat onto the console market, no scares, nothing interesting, ENDLESS wandering through dark forests while the same 6 scary dudes attack you, puzzles designed for children or the mentally infirm. When one of the most derided budgets titles of the year (Deadly Premonition) manages to outshine you in every way YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. Oh yeah, the story? It’s dumb as hell. The protagonist? He’s a boring self-involved dick! The whole game is built on a ultra-lame flashlight mechanic that is functionally the same as lock on machine gun spray, but for added fun you get to do that for a while and then you get to shoot the baddie with a regular gun. Of course there are also remarkable innovations like the grenade launcher flare gun and the regular grenade flashbang grenade. Oh wait, did I mention the timed running and jumping third person platforming sections? oh yeah, they suck a whole lot too. As an added bonus you get a couple of product placement moments that are so blunt that you can’t help but hear the designers laughing at you in the background while they line their pockets with corporate Kroners or whatever they use where this game is from. If that wasn’t enough, you get a cliffhanger ending
which fills you with the one true moment of yawning horror in the game, the terrible realization that they are undoubtedly going to make a sequel to this unmitigated piece of shit.

Alan Wake – Reviews/reactions were so disappointing I ended up not playing it at all after eagerly anticipating.

Heavy Rain – 10 hour B movie with terrible script, subpar voice acting and occasional button presses. strip away the cgi and you’re left with this

Heavy Rain. Heavy Rain sucks you in with an intriguing approach to controls and narrative and then mercilessly mocks your interest with some of the worst storytelling since Kevin Smith’s last movie. Turn on Cinemax After Dark, pop any random Saw on the Picture in Picture, and mindlessly fiddle with a DualShock 3 for an analogous experience.

And the winner and undisputed most disappointing game of the year is

Final Fantasy XIII. Terribly boring game. I was all psyched to get back into Final Fantasy (the last ones I had played were 7 + 8). Instead I got this ‘on the rails’ cliche fantasy world whose tutorial took about 30 hours too long to finish. Meh.

Final Fantasy XIII – in one way it was actually above expectations in that the combat was really, really fun and addictive, but basically almost everything else about it totally sucked, so it still has to take it.

break-ups are hard. but break-ups are rarely interesting to those on the outside of them, the slow deterioration of a relationship rarely manages to achieve the kind of external significance that demands a readers or a viewers attention. particularly the sort of amicable, tectonic break-ups that involve a slow and steady drifting away, of an alienation of affection that eventually swallows any passion, the sort of break-up that happens more out of mutual disregard than anything else. so in that spirit my most disappointing game of 2010 was Final Fantasy XIII which, six months after purchase, was discovered still in its original shrinkwrap in a box of old wii games while i was moving out of my old apartment. previously i would’ve at least made the effort – limned my frustrated nostalgia and worked-up arguments over the merits of this or that mechanical system. but this was the year i didn’t even care enough to try. i gave the game to my 17 yo cousin instead.

Coint & Plick 2010 #33: Rock Band 3

Posted in 2010 by trdn89 on June 3, 2011

30 points, 3 votes, 1 TOP GAME vote

Official Game Site

JimD: I was out of practice by about five years until I got this and the pro keyboard. Now I can play again. So that’s a pretty huge gift to get from a game.

Joystiq review

Mitch Krpata: The best music game of all time just got better. But did we see its death throes?

Game Informer

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Coint & Plick 2008 #6: Rock Band

Posted in 2008 by trdn89 on February 23, 2010

73 points, 6 votes, 1.5 TOP GAME votes

Official game site

Nhex: I don’t own a current generation console besides the DS, so my picks reflect that for the most part – my time with next-gen games comes mostly from playing friends’ machines during visits. That’s why Rock Band 2 scores so highly, and the two Wii games that were quite fun but played less score lower down the list.

Mitch Krpata: The most purely fun game I played in 2008. Alone or with friends, for five minutes or five hours, it always leaves me smiling. The gameplay is just terrific. My drum skills are at the point where medium difficulty is a little too easy and hard difficulty is just about within my range. It seems like Harmonix has calibrated the difficulty levels exactly — the toughest songs on medium seem about equal to the easiest songs on hard. It’s a simple and logical progression for the low-talent drummer.

HI DERE: I got my wife to start a band with me! She’s playing bass and every now and then gets mad at me because on easy, the guitar parts are way easier most of the time.

Mr. Snrub: WHY DOES THE WII VERSION SUCK SO FUCKING BAD??? Screw it. I’m getting an 360 and buying that version. I don’t care if it costs $550 or whatever.

Polyphonic: Disappointing. It’s like they just released the first game with new songs, and even made it harder to unlock songs. Maybe it’s better if you have the $300 drum kit but the regular new kit isn’t much better than the old one and a lot of the early songs in the playlist kinda suck. Too easy even compared to the last one.

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Coint & Plick 2009 #4: Beatles: Rock Band

Posted in 2009 by trdn89 on February 15, 2010

138 points, 11 votes, 1 TOP GAME vote

Official Game Site


Geir Hongro: This may be what causes me to invest in a gaming machine.

Developer Interview

Antexit: What a drag it is that the release of this game coincided almost perfectly with my getting completely and probably permanently bored with the GH/RB mechanic.

S1ocki: Not innovative, but making the package infinitely more tasteful and less crass than the horrible Guitar Hero games made all the difference to me. Also, a soundtrack way more consistent than any other music game.

JimD: I didn’t really like the Beatles until this year. Paul’s bass parts FTW.

NYT Feature

Polyphonic: Here is the ideal way to play this game: my friend Robert is singing, I am on guitar and primary harmonies, my friend Adam is on drums, Robert’s wife Sara is on bass, and our friends Tim and Diane are on secondary harmonies. We are playing either “Revolver” or “Abbey Road” from start to finish. If we’re playing “Abbey Road”, I get to sing the medley.

Wired Feature

Webber: This game could only be better if it were motion capture and you got bonus points for doing Paul’s head wiggle.

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Coint & Plick 2009: Disappointments

Posted in 2009, Most Disappointing Games of the Year by trdn89 on February 15, 2010

Time for some disappointments.

Every voter was given the option to list their most disappointing game of the year on their ballot. For some, this meant their least favorite game; for some, the one that didn’t live up to their expectations; for some, the reasoning was completely personal.

There was a definite consensus “most disappointing game”, but several games pulled single votes. Let’s start with those.

HIDERE – I pick BEATLES: ROCK BAND, not because of the game itself, but because the Rock Band peripherals (especially the guitars) are so incredibly fragile that leaving them alone for only a few months at a time causes them to stop working. I have two guitar controllers and they are both utterly broken despite not abusing them in the slightest. Yes I DID change the batteries, no that DIDN’T make any difference: one controller doesn’t respond at all and the other registers a strum if a light breeze wafts across it. This renders all of the Rock Band games completely unplayable and that’s really a shame because I love the concept and general execution of these games and would have bought Beatles: RB if the controllers actually worked. As it stands? Fuck this overly-fragile shit that costs nearly as much as an entire game system.

WillMCALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE 2 – It wasn’t the game itself that disappointed me, but the utter mess leading up to its release. Certainly the loss of dedicated servers for PC was a blow; there’s nothing better than renting a server for you and your friends to always guarantee a good game. For me, it was the whole F.A.G.S. scandal that really put it over the top. I have a hard enough time dealing with that shit on Xbox Live, but for a company to put out that kind of hate speech in their advertising completely put it over the top. I don’t know if I would call it a “boycott,” but that nonsense certainly determined that I did not care how good this game was: I wouldn’t be paying for it.

jamescobo – The FIGHT NIGHT series used to be one of my favorite series in games, and then ROUND 4 came out and uh well things changed in a hurry. Whoever designed the training minigames deserves to be sent to the hottest circle of hell.

IfKATAMARI FOREVER was a real bummer. “If it ain’t broke” is all well and good with something as awesome as Katamari, but _literally_ the same levels as the 360 version from a couple of years ago? Daaaaaamn.

Euler – More than anything it was NOT HAVING ENOUGH TIME TO PLAY video games this year.

Coint & Plick 2009 #77c: Rock Band iPhone

Posted in 2009 by trdn89 on February 12, 2010

5 points, 1 vote

Official Game Site

Wired review

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