The ILG Coint & Plick Awards

Coint & Plick 2010 Most Disappointing

Posted in 2010, Most Disappointing Games of the Year by trdn89 on June 13, 2011

Time for some disappointments.

Every voter was given the option to list their most disappointing game of the year on their ballot. For some, this meant their least favorite game; for some, the one that didn’t live up to their expectations; for some, the reasoning was completely personal.

There was a surprising degree of diversity in what people considered “disappointing”… here’s the gamut:

EZ Snappin
Physical Infirmity – My “biggest disappointment” was that I tore my biceps tendon so haven’t been able to do any motion controlled gaming since the Spring – no Wii, no trying out Move or Kinect. Honestly, I played so few games this year that I didn’t get a bummer. I ended up frustrated by FIFA11 after 50 or so hours, but it wasn’t broken or shit or anything.

Princess TamTam
Civ 5

abanana
Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth – Before its release the new gameplay mechanic (WALKING) sounded neat but this was the weakest entry in the series. Also: sexism and gaystereotypes.

Ledge
Angry Birds – Despite the effort I put in (and enjoyment I surely got at the time), I have really no interest in going back no matter what additional content they provide.

Will M
Red Dead Redemption – Sure, the good parts are good, but in usual Rockstar style the bad parts are the fucking worst. There’s a reason that westerns don’t have 15-minute chase-cam horse-riding sequences. Especially since it looks nice for about 5 minutes and then it’s alllllllll the saaaaaaaaame. The exposition is brutally boring/bad. The ending is robbed of any gravity due to the epilogue bit (hey, u can keep going lol). Ugh. Bugged me so much. I am officially over these dudes’ games, GTA IV and now this.

jamescobo
Super Mario All-Stars – Seriously, Nintendo? You can’t even see fit to include Super Mario World or even, like, the levels based on those scannable Mario 3 cards on the disc? Fuck, you can’t even include more than TWELVE MINUTES OF MUSIC on the soundtrack CD? FUCKING NINTENDO IS FUCKING US AGAIN FUCK. *buys on day one anyway*

cozen
Vanquish – wish it had more unlockables, even just silly stuff like big head mode cheats, stupid suits or fuck-off-big guns. because the core /game/ aspect was so strong it wasn’t that big a deal mind

Nhex
iPhone/iPod touch gaming – I’m finding myself really fascinated with the growing market and possibilities as much as anyone, but time and time again, I’ll play games feverishly recommended by others in the iPhone thread and come off bitterly disappointed, as just about every game is basically a slightly tweaked (but not significally so) version of a game I played on the DS or Kongregate or Newgrounds years ago. I think people are just amazed at the ability to play on your phone? Worst offender – Game Dev Story. Drop7 gets a pass, though, that one was really good.

Polyphonic
Rock Band 3 – Maybe a guitar controller with eight million buttons wasn’t the greatest idea of all time? Also the song list is awful. I think the era of the music game is over.

ilxor
Monster Hunter Tri – The concept was great, but in the end I shelled out $40 or so for a game that I couldn’t get into because of clunky controls. Currently in line to be thrown up on eBay first chance I get… sorry, Monster Hunter Tri.

Zora / Surfing at Work
Civilization 5.

Mitch Krpata
Limbo – In a sense, I’m disappointed with myself for not seeing what everybody else saw in this game. Others saw a brain-busting platformer swaddled in the clothes of a tragedy; I saw a pretentious, anachronistic platformer with delusions of grandeur.

ZS
Mass Effect 2 – The big selling point for this is supposed to be the characters and the great story, apparently. But the further I got into the game, the more I found myself beginning to sympathize with Roger Ebert’s tripe about video games and art (I eventually stopped playing before I get too close to the edge, but fuck you for that, bioware, party foul). I am confident that someday soon a giant game company will release a game with dialogue that is elevated above the 9th best action film of 1996, but Mass Effect 2 isn’t it. (IMO.) And when the wider non-gamer public is told from a variety of sources that Mass Effect 2 is supposed to be some great achievement in videogame storytelling, it does a great disservice to games in general. It comes across like an excellent 6th grade play. Unfortunately, aside from the story, all that’s left is a really easy action game and a whole bunch of planet probing. The graphics and sound are great, I’ll give it that.

Autumn Almanac
Gran Turismo 5 – The designers refused to follow any known UI convention and the game itself were boring. Even the 3D is underwhelming.

Alan N
Online Play in Dragon Quest 9 – Again, one of my peculiar old man hangups, but as a rule of thumb, I have never gotten much out of multiplayer. unless there are people physically in a room with me, anyway. I was pretty disappointed when I found out that it was a major component of dq9. it’s likely the reason I haven’t gotten around to playing yet, despite having dutifully bought the game already. (or used a voucher on it, anyway.) I love the series but I play dq games like I read a book: usually before bed or during my commute in 30min intervals. it’s a soothing, hermetic activity for me and online gaming is the opposite of that experience.

Euler
none, or the usual “that I didn’t play enough 2010 games”

Salsa Shark
Epic Mickey

JimD
The PS3 – Only got round to buying one this year, and haven’t enjoyed anything I’ve played on it. The exclusives all feel distinctly last-gen, and the machine itself is just…I dunno, too Japanese? When games aren’t, any more. So there’s a mismatch of form and function. Plus the update mechanisim is plain ridiculous. Oh i dunno, it’s just shit.

A Passing Spacecadet
One Chance (Flash) – Am I a sourpuss if my gaming disappointment is something I didn’t even spend any money or more than 40 minutes on? I just wanted this to be so amazing after reading glowing reviews. ILG was the one gaming-aware online community I’m on that didn’t go nuts over the genius of this thing. A profound artistic statement subverting gamers’ expectations, or a Choose Your Own Adventure book with about 3 choices and a handful of inscrutable and identically bleak endings? So much potential, but it just didn’t hang together for me.

Bamcquern
1. Increased use of libraries or plug-ins I’ve got to download and games that look like they’ll run on my computer but actually run just as slow as Duke Nukem Forever would (the 2d runs as slow as 3d complaint)
2. Games and game websites (like Jacob Buczynski’s) previously available on the internet 1 or 2 years ago have disappeared without anyone archiving them.

A pair of intense disappointments apiece for the two NOIR MOVIE GAMES:

jjjusten
Alan Wake – Oh good, an unlikeable self-involved college professor simulator! I should have known that this was going to be awful when in the first hour of gameplay I got to experience one of the laziest moments of game design ever: yer walking around on an island, nothing weird has happened yet so you are just poking around and you decide to see what happens if you walk into the shallow water clearly accessible by the side of the dock. Now, this is obviously a spot the designer doesn’t want you getting too far into, because they haven’t bothered with any sort of swimming/wading mechanic because hey why would you if you set your game ON AN ISLAND. So they do the obvious rational thing, and decide that if you walk into the water YOU EXPLODE. It gets worse from there.
This is one of the lamest “spooky” games ever to splat onto the console market, no scares, nothing interesting, ENDLESS wandering through dark forests while the same 6 scary dudes attack you, puzzles designed for children or the mentally infirm. When one of the most derided budgets titles of the year (Deadly Premonition) manages to outshine you in every way YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. Oh yeah, the story? It’s dumb as hell. The protagonist? He’s a boring self-involved dick! The whole game is built on a ultra-lame flashlight mechanic that is functionally the same as lock on machine gun spray, but for added fun you get to do that for a while and then you get to shoot the baddie with a regular gun. Of course there are also remarkable innovations like the grenade launcher flare gun and the regular grenade flashbang grenade. Oh wait, did I mention the timed running and jumping third person platforming sections? oh yeah, they suck a whole lot too. As an added bonus you get a couple of product placement moments that are so blunt that you can’t help but hear the designers laughing at you in the background while they line their pockets with corporate Kroners or whatever they use where this game is from. If that wasn’t enough, you get a cliffhanger ending
which fills you with the one true moment of yawning horror in the game, the terrible realization that they are undoubtedly going to make a sequel to this unmitigated piece of shit.

Jordan
Alan Wake – Reviews/reactions were so disappointing I ended up not playing it at all after eagerly anticipating.

Zappi
Heavy Rain – 10 hour B movie with terrible script, subpar voice acting and occasional button presses. strip away the cgi and you’re left with this http://www.kongregate.com/games/kthorjensen/press-x-to-jason

GM
Heavy Rain. Heavy Rain sucks you in with an intriguing approach to controls and narrative and then mercilessly mocks your interest with some of the worst storytelling since Kevin Smith’s last movie. Turn on Cinemax After Dark, pop any random Saw on the Picture in Picture, and mindlessly fiddle with a DualShock 3 for an analogous experience.

And the winner and undisputed most disappointing game of the year is

Mordy
Final Fantasy XIII. Terribly boring game. I was all psyched to get back into Final Fantasy (the last ones I had played were 7 + 8). Instead I got this ‘on the rails’ cliche fantasy world whose tutorial took about 30 hours too long to finish. Meh.

if
Final Fantasy XIII – in one way it was actually above expectations in that the combat was really, really fun and addictive, but basically almost everything else about it totally sucked, so it still has to take it.

Lamp
break-ups are hard. but break-ups are rarely interesting to those on the outside of them, the slow deterioration of a relationship rarely manages to achieve the kind of external significance that demands a readers or a viewers attention. particularly the sort of amicable, tectonic break-ups that involve a slow and steady drifting away, of an alienation of affection that eventually swallows any passion, the sort of break-up that happens more out of mutual disregard than anything else. so in that spirit my most disappointing game of 2010 was Final Fantasy XIII which, six months after purchase, was discovered still in its original shrinkwrap in a box of old wii games while i was moving out of my old apartment. previously i would’ve at least made the effort – limned my frustrated nostalgia and worked-up arguments over the merits of this or that mechanical system. but this was the year i didn’t even care enough to try. i gave the game to my 17 yo cousin instead.

Coint & Plick 2010 #11: 9 Innings: Pro Baseball 2011

Posted in 2010 by trdn89 on June 9, 2011

NOTE: early on in the polls, I had volunteered to help Forks pull quotes for a few games. one of them was this game which I totally loved and had as my #1 and still play literally to this day, so I ended up pulling a ridiculous amount of quotes and stills from threads. out of sheer fanboyism I am going to include most of them here in a shameless ploy to boost this game’s prominence/pagerank, or at least help draw it into line with the traffic inexplicably attracted by the entry about The Settlers.

75 points, 5 votes, 2 TOP GAME votes

Official Game Site

Time for a frickin’ 9 innings thread on ILG, folks…

Z_S: if iPad were NES, 9 Innings, GameDevStory and maybe Drop7(still haven’t played it) would be the Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt pack-in

Mordy: 50% baseball sim game and 50% card collecting extravaganza, 9 Innings 2011 hit the pleasure center of my brain that loves collecting better and better cards while combining that with the best sports mechanics I’ve yet seen on the iPhone. It was hopelessly addictive and even with season ending bugs (I had two, the second of which actually ended my interest in 9 Innings 2011) it was still great enough to be my 3rd favorite game of the year.

App Advice

jamescobo: In sheer value terms (price : amount of enjoyment derived), 9 Innings 2011 may well be the biggest gaming bargain I’ve ever found; it’s months and months and months later and I’m STILL ducking out to play this game compulsively even though it still won’t let me check my swing. For a game which wiped out 100% of my progress during FirstUpdateGate, that’s a pretty substantial accomplishment.

The thing about 9 Innings is that it is perfectly designed to be playable at any moment in the day. baseball can be broken down into so many component parts which serve as gameplay milestones (“oh I’ll just play one AB/inning/game/season/etc.”) + brilliant virtual-d-pad-less portrait mode allowing for one-handed play (perfect for playing while standing on a bus/ducking out for a smoke/”oh man I just drew a platinum Albert Pujols” *frantic masturbation*)+ controls streamlined to remove anything which isn’t fun to control (fielding) while absolutely nailing everything else to within seven decimal places = a good excuse to play is never hard to find. Then you get into building a team and then you get into card collecting and then all of a sudden it’s seven AM three days later and you’re still playing.

Touch Arcade

bnw: played the shit out of it

Will M.: Thank god this game doesn’t track how many hours I played it because enough games have made me feel embarrassed about that this year. And I probably played this more.

Jeff:

The rest of my team isn’t that spectacular. I can’t seem to get good cards for SS and LF.
Haven’t really bothered with the bench. What sucks with combining cards is that I’ll combine 3
gold cards and get another stupid fucking coach that I already have. Or an ugly cheerleader.









Tracer Hand: the real way to rack up points is the real man’s way – by playing Homerun Mode for like three hours straight til you can’t see. HR Mode is totally idiotic – i feel like a pavlovian dog or something – but after a tense game it feels so sweet to just bash em out of the park.

– the difference in style between difft pitchers is terrific. some curveballs loop slowly in, others snap tightly.

– the stealing mechanic should actually work; as it is, it’s just chance

– defensive substitutions, please!

– stamina depletion of opposing relievers, please! it’s not fair that my guys’ tiredness lasts through to the next game, but their guys magically “heal” overnight. it takes away one of the great strategic satisfactions of baseball: wearing down the relief corps so that the next day your opponent’s no. 5 starter gets left in the game too long

– it is a bit too easy. i’m now into the next season (2011) and i didn’t get a chance to switch it up to “hard”

– i love how in the world series everyone seems to play a bit better

– i think howie kendrick has to have the best player photo (although i am partial to josh beckett’s come-hither, kenny powers-esque pose)

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Coint & Plick 2010 #12: Bioshock 2

Posted in 2010 by trdn89 on June 9, 2011

65 points, 3 votes, .33 TOP GAME votes

Official Game Site

Bioshock — the “sequel in spirit” to System Shock 2

Captain Lorax: Pretty much on the same level as the first one. Maybe the combat is better with a few more options. The atmosphere is amazing. The story is interesting; well it’s not extraordinary (the premise is) but I’m compelled to listen to the audio diaries. And you will finally learn a thing or two about the little sisters. One of my top 3 games of the year. I wanted it to last longer so that I could use my final plasmid upgrades more often (maybe if I had chosen to harvest the little girls). The worst problem with the Bioshock series is that chopping at a tough enemy and then regenerating over and over again just to finish them off feels like cheating.

Destructoid review

jjjusten: It really could have been so much better, and the O_O promo shit for bioshock sky city or whatever really didnt help the good will toward this game, but its better than people seem to think – i guarantee that if you go back to bioshock 1 (which is great, jesus christ calm down already) youll start to notice some of the work that went into the environment reboot. Multiplayer never really came together but the few times a lobby would get rocking it was actually a ton of fun, just dont expect this to uh ever happen again unless you set it up w/yer pals, sorry. Big Sister attack waves were fucking hard as nails and unnerving most of the time (although unfortunately if you figured out how to game the system a bit they werent, which is too bad). That being said, the game sorta just peters out in the middle and tbh i dont know many people who finished it so buy it cheap.

Mitch Krpata: Before BioShock 2, I would have said that BioShock didn’t need a sequel. After BioShock 2, I can’t imagine a world without one.

Giant Bomb review

bnw: hollow echo of a great game.

cozen: better than the original but w/slight performance issues & originality questions. still, a solid shooter front to back and a damn sight better than the other bioshock retread released this year (‘singularity’)

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Coint & Plick 2010 #13: Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies

Posted in 2010 by trdn89 on June 9, 2011

61 points, 4 votes, 2 TOP GAME votes

Official Game Site

DRAGON QUEST XI: WEAPONS OF MAP DISSEMINATION

Salsa Shark: I really had to drag myself kicking and screaming into the final battle of this game?-not because the final boss was incredibly difficult and fear-inspiring (if anything, I over-levelled)–but because I really didn’t want the game to end. And that was even after 80+ hours of gameplay, including various side quests, alchemy experiments, and re-classing just to postpone having to end my adventure.

One of the things I particularly liked about this game was the way some of the towns? stories were like scaled-down versions of Professor Layton plots (the story in Bloomingdale is a good example of this). And, like a Layton game, there aren’t really any ?evil? characters, just sympathetic, misguided beings who become consumed by their desires.
Also, I should probably admit that at least 5 of the points I awarded for this game were for the fact you can alchemise a slime costume, and that this slime costume is necessary in order to complete one of the side quests. Amazing.

Telegraph UK review

Lamp: dragon quest ix is a well-made game. its the jrpg equivalent of a functional hollywood blockbuster & its not surprising that the game was immensely popular in japan or that nintendo was willing to take a gamble on its north american publication: it works. the story is bland but enjoyable, the world bright and soft, the game’s mechanic rewarding w/o ever overwhelming or frustrating the player. it lacks the imagination or dark undercurrents of the shin megami games or the joyful challenge of etrian odyssey but dq9 was never a chore, the multiplayer was well-integrated (if mostly unused), its a good game.

Fluffy Bunny Pwn review

abanana: the series needs some streamlining (this game literally put me to
sleep several times) but the basics are still great.

Furu Anime Panikku review

Official Game Site

DRAGON QUEST XI: WEAPONS OF MAP DISSEMINATION

Salsa Shark: I really had to drag myself kicking and screaming into the final battle of this game?-not because the final boss was incredibly difficult and fear-inspiring (if anything, I over-levelled)–but because I really didn’t want the game to end. And that was even after 80+ hours of gameplay, including various side quests, alchemy experiments, and re-classing just to postpone having to end my adventure.

One of the things I particularly liked about this game was the way some of the towns? stories were like scaled-down versions of Professor Layton plots (the story in Bloomingdale is a good example of this). And, like a Layton game, there aren’t really any ?evil? characters, just sympathetic, misguided beings who become consumed by their desires.
Also, I should probably admit that at least 5 of the points I awarded for this game were for the fact you can alchemise a slime costume, and that this slime costume is necessary in order to complete one of the side quests. Amazing.

Telegraph UK review

Lamp: dragon quest ix is a well-made game. its the jrpg equivalent of a functional hollywood blockbuster & its not surprising that the game was immensely popular in japan or that nintendo was willing to take a gamble on its north american publication: it works. the story is bland but enjoyable, the world bright and soft, the game’s mechanic rewarding w/o ever overwhelming or frustrating the player. it lacks the imagination or dark undercurrents of the shin megami games or the joyful challenge of etrian odyssey but dq9 was never a chore, the multiplayer was well-integrated (if mostly unused), its a good game.

 

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Coint & Plick 2010 #14: Recettear: An Item Tale’s Shop

Posted in 2010, PC Games of the Year by trdn89 on June 8, 2011

52 points, 4 votes, 1 TOP GAME vote

Official Game Site

Nhex: A complete surprise to me. Admittedly, I have a weakness for these little-indie-PC-games-that-
could, and graphically this game looks like it could’ve been done on the original Playstation, but this was a wonderful little game. Recettear has an interesting structure in that there’s an extreme range of choice in how far the player wants to take it – one could play it as a casual shopkeeping sim, and “complete” the game at the end of the first month, or you (well, me) could spend endless hours going through the random dungeon generator, hunting ingredients to get 100% completion. It’s suited for pick-up and play, long sessions, or grinding and farming. The story, characters and world are slight, goofy, and charming, which is completely appropriate and ingratiating. I actually feel guilty about getting this for effectively $1 in a Steam sale over Thanksgiving.

RPGamer

PC Gamer

abanana: a fairly generic japanese sim game, but without as much of their usual sexism. short and sweet.

a passing spacecadet: I am slightly ashamed by how much I loved this given how awful I find the graphical style and how wildly inaccurate the tutorial’s own instructions are. Can’t stop to think about the game any more or I’ll talk in nothing but high-pitched Japanese exclamations for the next day. Ganbatte kudasai!

Eurogamer

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Coint & Plick 2010 #15: Bayonetta

Posted in 2010 by trdn89 on June 8, 2011

48 points, 4 votes (including 1 carryover from last year’s poll)

Official Game Site

bayonetta

Jamescobo: Unequivocally the most embarrassing game for a girlfriend to catch you playing ever, but then again odds are most folks who would love this game aren’t going to have that problem anyway (/wrists). Also unequivocally the best pure beat-em-up since God Hand (and maybe even a little bit [is he gonna say it? is he gonna say it? oh shit he’s actually gonna say it!] better due to the refined presentation). Plus, how often do you come across a game where even the LOADING SCREENS are action-packed?

Jim D: Ridiculous and audacious and hugely funny. And it feels like it manages to mock every stupid video game idea that’s emerged in the last ten years, while simultaneously showing how cool those ideas could have been if they were handled less stupidly. I’m in love with it.

Gamasutra on The Cultural Clash of Bayonetta

Versus Clu Clu Land

Lolzy Costume Customization

Gay Gamer Review

Jeff Levine: To be honest, I didn’t get very far, like chapter five or so? It was one of those games where I put it down and kept meaning to go back to it, but just never did. I didn’t have any super negative reaction to it, but I guess I never felt compelled to want to play it further? It sat on the shelf unplayed for so long that I eventually realized I wasn’t going to get back into it and traded it in when I needed money for something else. I don’t think it was exactly the game’s problem, more just my changing tastes and almost complete indifference to playing through a single player, story driven game. In fact, this may have been the game that made me realize I can’t maintain enough interest in a solely single player game to justify spending $60 US on them, since I never seem interested enough to play them through to the end, no matter how highly they’re rated. The basic structure of cut-scene, fight a series of small enemies, cut-scene, boss fight, then repeat, is just a type of game that now bores me horribly.

Zero Punctuation Review

Mitch Krpata: I was embarrassed to play this game, but I was having too much fun to care.

Sexy Videogame Land

Captain Lorax: honestly, I’ve only seen people play it but I wanted to give it 5 points

Cozen: u can play it w/one hand u know

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Coint & Plick 2010 #16: Heavy Rain

Posted in 2010, PS3 Games of the Year by trdn89 on June 8, 2011

45 points, 3 votes, 1 TOP GAME vote

Official Game Site

if: I’m thoroughly enjoying most of Deadly Premonition so far but haven’t got far enough through to be at all confident about putting it on my ballot. Can’t help but feel, though, that it’s a sign of an overemphasis on graphics and similar technical matters that it got hailed as a game which did a lot of things hilariously wrong but still managed to produce a story and experience which was bizarrely compelling, and Heavy Rain didn’t get the same treatment. Zombies aside, my enjoyment of Deadly Premonition certainly feels like it’s coming from very much the same place as enjoyment of the melodrama and cackhanded QTEs of Heavy Rain.

Heavy Rain – Now with QTE SPOILERS

Eurogamer review

Zero Punctuation

 

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Coint & Plick 2010 #17: Madden NFL 11

Posted in 2010 by trdn89 on June 8, 2011

45 points, 3 votes, .5 TOP GAME vote

Madden Site

Mordy: Two huge things have made Madden 2011 unexpectedly my favorite Madden release ever. 1) They tweaked running backs so that the experience of moving them feels much more fluid and responsive. There’s nothing quite like ducking and weaving between DEs with Shady McCoy and breaking off a big game. 2) They tweaked the defenses to actually have decent AI. Instead of impossibly high scoring Madden games with tons of successful hail mary’s games are actually somewhat reasonable. Stupid offensive plays rarely pay off and as such is goes from being a really fun arcade’y game to being the closest Madden has ever come to capturing the feel of a real football game.

MTV review

forksclovetofu: aw man, why did i go and buy this…

Bleacher Report

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Coint & Plick 2010 #18: Donkey Kong Country Returns

Posted in 2010 by trdn89 on June 8, 2011

45 points, 3 votes, .33 TOP GAME vote

Official Game Site

Captain Lorax: It’s just the same old DKC rehased with better graphics and more moves than normal. You’ll be happy to know that there is at least one mine-cart level. And this game is so much more challenging than other nintendo platformers. Plus there are things to collect that will unlock a few new levels. And there is time trial for each level. It’s possible to do 2-player and one person would be on the same screen as Diddy but I don’t think I would want to play this game that way. One of my top 3 games of the year

Telegraph UK review

ilxor: Donkey Kong Country Returns has been an obsession since its November release. Feels like an awesome, fresh update on the original SNES franchise. Very challenging in the later levels. Two-player co-op mode is a winner here as well.

IGN review

remy bean: As a Latin American male, I’m proud to relate to prominent video-game role models like Donkey Kong.

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Coint & Plick 2010 #19b: The Saboteur

Posted in 2010 by trdn89 on June 6, 2011

45 points, 2 votes, 1 TOP GAME vote

Official Game Site

jjjusten: This game sits in the perfect sweet spot between Assassins Creed, Just Cause 2, and Red Faction Guerilla with just a taste of GTA WWII Paris tossed in for fun. Blow shit up! Find hidden shit! Climb buildings! Drive cars into things! Pwn Nazis! Yes, there are points where mission goals can be shall we say unFUCKINGclear, and some of the plot points and game mechanics are a bit shrugmoticon but BLOW SHIT UP BLOW SHIT UP BLOW SHIT UP ok then.

Wired review

Euler: This is the first open world game that I’ve loved for its openness. Paris is my favorite place on earth, & the game does a good enough job of modeling it (& occasionally better than good enough: climbing Saint Eustache was excellent). Plus you get to kill lots of Nazis, & the foreplay tasks of blowing up endless Nazi sniper towers & search lights is super satisfying. With GTAs I feel bad about the people I’m slaughtering: they’re not necessarily horribly bad people, they’re just low-level drug dealers or whatever. But here, the bad guys are Nazis with penchants for flaying political prisoners. So when you drive a car bomb into a crowd of them, you’re a force for good! There’s lots to do in the world, & the climbing mechanic means you get gorgeous views of the city on the reg + can get around quicker than just by driving through maze-y neighborhoods. Plus you can find anti-air guns & spend time shooting down zeppelins making mad bank. Plus: did I mention PERKS! Yes, you have to do dumb things like collect every Nazi vehicle but when you do, you get IN GAME value instead of boosting your dumb gamer score that no one cares about. Hey, I’ll take the seratonin boost & the extra firepower, no prob. So yeah, my #1 with a terror-scoped rifle bullet.

Eurogamer review

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