The ILG Coint & Plick Awards

Coint & Plick 2008 #11: Fable II

Posted in 2008, Xbox 360 Exclusive Games of the Year by trdn89 on February 23, 2010

47 points, 5 votes

Official game site

Polyphonic: This game is pure popcorn. It doesn’t have the best combat, it feels very short and it sometimes doesn’t work right, but it hits a pleasure center that is pretty primal for me.

Molyneux interview

Matt D: The insipid villagers ended up driving me down the evil path. A crowd of children and onlookers were alternately praising, jeering and begging at me while I was trying to get at a vendor to buy/sell some gear, and I may have set them on fire, a little. Repeatedly.

Forksclovetofu: It’s… okay? I might like this more if I trusted it to take me further into the story. It’s not as immersive as I want it to be, that’s for sure. I actually quit playing Oblivion for this, cause I figured my girl would be more into it cause you can get married and have a dog and the graphics are better, but I’m starting to question that decision. Honestly, the Oblivion minigame is more complex than Fable’s vaunted character interaction. Here, it’s mostly fart till you can’t fart no more and then somebody wants to marry you. Apparently renaissance RPG land is a little like the seedier corners of the internet.
‘Animal Crossing + Murder’ is weirdly accurate.

MPX4A: This game is Bully to Oblivion’s GTA.

JimD: Got married and had a baby and regretted it almost instantly. I’m going to find it hard to resist slaughtering her and setting the baby on fire.

Salsa Shark: I’m getting more annoyed each time I go into Bowerstone. Everyone flocks to me and asks me why I’m too cheap to buy them gifts or too non-committal to buy them rings and then when I go to a dig spot in an alleyway a bunch of kids follow and corner me for five incredibly frustrating minutes, demanding autographs and then getting angry when I ignore them because I’m too busy button-mashing the controller to try to push them out of the way. This game would be a lot better if villagers didn’t stalk me every time I have stuff to do.
I’m having trouble reconciling my intention of remaining good/pure/vegetarian with my OCD about completing everything in a game. I can’t shoot all the gargoyles and get all the treasure chests unless I get into the Temple of Shadows, but I can’t get into the Temple unless I abandon my non-meat non-evil ways. Also my second ‘accidentally’ ate two of the five crunchy chicks.

Will M: I played Fable II last night for like 2 hours and got NOWHERE. There’s no grinding per se but there’s a lot of EXCRUCIATINGLY BORING foot travel punctuated by menus that take over thirty seconds to LOAD and a dog occasionally barking and a thought bubble popping up over his head saying there is a treasure or something is buried… meaning you have to go about fifteen feet off the beaten path, watch an awful animation, get an item which takes three seconds to load, and then go back to the trail, making you wonder why they even bother making you leave the beaten path because it’s not like you get in a fight– it’s just a massive waste of time. Why not make the dog bark and then I HAVE THE ITEM? Then a shitload of people start following you around with hearts over their heads because once you thought it’d be a good idea to do “victory arm pump” in this city 15 times, and they’re all talking, and talking, and talking and saying the same things. So to escape them you get behind the counter at a bar and for the next ten minutes you start earning money and you WANNA STOP because it’s so boring but you CAN’T because this is the first time in a while you’ve earned money and you LOSE YOUR MULTIPLIER IF YOU STOP but you have to deal with repetitive button-pressing and EVEN worse repetitive people saying ‘you’re good at pouring beer’ or whatever they say and fuck that game fuck that game fuck that game.

Tagged with: , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: